BSD Bootloader ‘Read Error’

Posted in Technical on February 17th, 2006

As part of my home network, I have been using an HP Vectra VL5/166 Series 5 DT Pentium 166 MHz computer as my NAT router for several years now. I used IPCop (Linux-based) since its 1.3 release, followed by 1.4 for quite a while, and then decided I should give m0n0wall (BSD-based) a try, starting at the 1.2b9 release. m0n0wall was originally designed to run on embedded / SBC systems, especially Soekris boards, which boot off a CF card. It was later [easily] adapted to run on generic PCs, though there’s no real method provided to install it, other than performing a ~5 MiB disk image copy to the hard drive. I tried this (using Knoppix textmode, wget the image, then dd), but was plagued by a Read error after loading the BIOS. I worked on trying to fix this for quite a while, to no avail. Eventually I conceded defeat and just used the m0n0wall LiveCD to boot the system, and stored the configuration on a floppy disk. I later experimented with pfSense very briefly, which is a modification of m0n0wall with a somewhat different target audience and different goals in mind. Of particular interest to me was the fact that after booting from the LiveCD, it provides an actual [optional] installer, which I hoped would avoid the problems I ran into with m0n0wall. Long story short, after about 6 attempted installs, it still didn’t work, so once again, I conceded defeat, and kept on truckin’ with the m0n0wall LiveCD.

Fast forward about five months…

m0n0wall (1.2b9, LiveCD + floppy for config) was very stable … no lockups or reboots (planned or unplanned) for the whole time. One night, I decided to reboot all my computers including the m0n0wall router. Anyway, after it booted back up, it was acting strange … and then started telling me errors like no XML object found, etc. I pulled out the floppy disk, and checked it in my desktop, which spent about 10 minutes trying to read the ~12 KiB file, and later chkdisk confirmed that there were 512 bytes in bad sectors. Crap. Rather than just rebuilding my configuration, though, I decided to go all out and try the new pfSense Beta (finally out of alpha), which put me back in the situation of fixing the Read error once the system actually hit the BSD bootloader.

Read error THIS, bitches!

I googled briefly, and came across a page Why does FreeBSD’s boot loader display Read error and stop after the BIOS screen? Well, that seemed to capture the essense of my problem fairly well, so I gave it a go. There was some confusion to this issue, though, as my BIOS initially reported the disk was 16,383 cylinders, whereas the BSD bootloader installer [correctly] recognized that it was 39,703 cylinders. I tried various combinations of either using the BIOS’s wrong value in the bootloader installer, or entering the right value in the bios and bootloader, or entering a third value in both (somewhere between what the BIOS thought and what the hard drive thought); none of these approaches worked. I also tried most of these combinations without the default ‘packet mode’ selected when installing the bootloader; again, no success. I even tried partitioning the disk into ~1 GiB partitions, in case the issue was with using a partition sized greater than a 32bit address; still no luck. Eventually, I pulled out my trusty Ultimate Boot CD (UBCD), and started going through the boot loaders provided on there. I didn’t make it through the whole list, because when I got to GAG, I was easily able to go into setup -> add operating system -> select FreeBSD from the list and name it/pick an icon, then configure Boot timer to ~2 seconds (so that it will boot without my interaction, since the router is almost always headless / keyboardless), and pick the OS that I just added as the default choice. Lastly, selecting Save in Hard disk immediately installed the bootloader to the drive, and I was able to boot like a charm! It’s frustrating how quickly and easily GAG worked after I spent hours trying more complicated solutions…

Anyway, I’m glad it works. I’ve mostly reconfigured my router with pfSense installed to the hard drive now, and it seems to be working fairly well. I haven’t checked out the Beta1 known bugs yet, but the first bug I’ve observed seems too obvious to even imagine someone hasn’t posted. I guess the pfSense logo is set as a background image (css, presumably … I haven’t actually looked at the code), so they use a transparent image statically placed above it for the actual linking (to the main page). For me, this image (http://arvin.local:446/themes/pfsense/images/transparent.gif) is missing (404 - Not Found) in each of the three themes provided with pfSense, so I get a nice little rectangle with the word Transparent (the alt text) above the pfSense logo. Aside from that, everything else has been sweet like candy. There’s rumor that I can even get more info than just traffic stats from SNMP (for use on my cacti box), but I haven’t looked into that very much yet. Anyway, I hope this can help someone else with a similar problem to mine. I don’t just write these technical posts because I like to regale myself with stories of grueling troubleshooting and frustration ;). Good luck, and have fun.

Programming Assignments

Posted in Technical on February 16th, 2006

Well, my final full semester has started, which includes a fairly grueling schedule totaling 20 credits of 4000-5000 level csci courses. Crazy? Yes. Am I going to do well in all my classes? No. Am I going to take a year or two off my life through sleep deprivation? Probably. Regardless, I’m taking some classes that are finally of potential interest to me. The University of Minnesota B.S. Computer Science program requires that students declare an upper division emphasis, which I kind of made up on a whim the night I realized I had to register for my classes. If you clicked the link above, you know that three of my classes are network and/or internet programming (which happens to probably be my area of most interest), so my emphasis was named something along the lines of Internet/Information Services.

Anyway, the two network programming courses I’m in have just released their [first] big programming assignments for the semester, both of which are kind of interesting, and I dare say I might even be excited to work on them. If you counted, you’ll notice that still leaves me with four other classes about which I have not expressed any excitement. Three of those aren’t bad per se, just not necessarily exciting to me. The fourth is Data Mining. My feelings on that class can be easily summarized as follows:

:-(

…But I digress. Getting back to my main motivation for this post, which was to talk about these two programming assignments.

Csci4211 - Introduction to Computer Networks

The full assignment is defined here, if you’re eager enough to actually read about it yourself. The assignment is titled Peer-to-Peer (P2P) File Sharing System with Messaging, which is fairly self explanatory. To understate the situation, it’s not going to wipe out Kazaa or BitTorrent any time soon, as it will be written for a command-line/console interface (no GUI), and (based on my brief scan of the assignment) can only actually exchange files between directly connected nodes (there’s no central server).

Inet4021 - Network Programming

Dammit. I hibernated my computer and lost the paragraph I’d already written about this assignment. Surely this time around will be less exciting than the first; I apologize. That said, I’ll proceed. The assignment is only available in .doc format here, which you probalby don’t want to go to the trouble of downloading and opening, so I’ll summarize. The assignment is boringly titled Lab #3, which isn’t of much use to you, but the primary objective is: Based on RFC 1945, you will need to write an HTTP client that meets the 1.0 specification. For the less technically oriented individuals out there, an HTTP client is more commonly known as a web browser (such as Internet Explorer). This ain’t yo’ momma’s web browser, though… Don’t expect pretty graphics, flash animations, or anything fun like that … a closer comparison would be wget, though this is even less advanced than that. I think a more fitting description would be a URL document grabber. It’s approximately equivilent to going to Start -> Run -> cmd, and typing:

telnet www.umn.edu 80
GET / HTTP/1.0

[Press enter twice]

This returns the following, which is approximately what I understand this program is supposed to output:

HTTP/1.1 302 Found
Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 00:23:25 GMT
Server: Apache/1.3.33 (Unix) mod_fastcgi/2.2.12 mod_ssl/2.8.23 OpenSSL/0.9.7g
Location: http://www1.umn.edu/twincities/index.php
Connection: close
Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1

<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC -//IETF//DTD HTML 2.0//EN>
<HTML><HEAD>
<TITLE>302 Found</TITLE>
</HEAD><BODY>
<H1>Found</H1>
The document has moved <A HREF=http://www1.umn.edu/twincities/index.php>here</A>.<P>
<HR>
<ADDRESS>Apache/1.3.33 Server at www.umn.edu Port 80</ADDRESS>
</BODY></HTML>

To continue my line of reference from aboive, this client certainly isn’t going to blow Internet Explorer out of the water. Considering my dream job (take that very lightly) is working for Opera Software ASA, this project is of particular interest to me. I actually kind of wish it was a more extensive project (though, don’t quote me on that in three weeks when it’s due, and I haven’t started yet).

Intel 802.11b 2100 3B finally working with 3Com OfficeConnect 3CRWE454G72

Posted in Technical on January 30th, 2006

A wordy title, to be sure, but I figured I would post my "news" here, after struggling with this for so long. If you’ve read my previous post(s), you’ll know that I’ve experienced tremendous difficulty and aggravation with my 3Com OfficeConnect Wireless 11g Access Point (3CRWE454G72). The most recent round of fun I had with this AP was after buying my IBM (Lenovo) ThinkPad T41 2373-5U2 (pics), which includes an installed mPCI Intel 802.11b (2100 3B "Intel Pro Wireless LAN 2100 3b Mini PCI") wireless client adapter. Of course I eagerly set up the laptop and try to connect to the network/internet through my AP. Apparently 3Com thinks that’s a silly idea, and gave me a big NOYUO (well, not quite, but I pretty much couldn’t get the laptop to associate with the access point, pick up an IP via DHCP, or any of that fun stuff). After only a few months earlier going through a similar experience with my Fujitsu LifeBook P-1035 (Prism II) and the same access point, only to later find out that 3Com acknowledged this was a problem with their firmware (in the sense that they fixed it, and listed it as such in the changelog), I didn’t put too much more effort into what I assumed was a lost cause (since I can’t fix the proprietary 3Com firmware, and they were already tired of me whining about a handful of problems from before their previous firmware fix).

It wasn’t until today … a couple months after buying this laptop, that I stumbled across this enlightening article on Intel’s site, noting that "PSP (Power Save Polling) Causes Connection Issues With Some Access Points." Durrr… After seeing the title, I was already fairly sure what the solution was, but I read through the article anyway, which notes:

If the wireless access point / wireless gateway does not properly support the PSP feature, intermittent loss of wireless connection, inability to initiate a wireless connection, or poor wireless connection data performance could result. The symptoms may be more pronounced when on battery power.

Contact the access point vendor for an updated software which corrects the problem. [Heh, yeah, I won’t hold my breath.]

As a temporary workaround, manually set the adapter to CAM (continually aware mode), which disables the PSP capability. To do this, in either Intel® PROSet for Wireless Software or the Network Control Panel Applet (NCPA), in the power management section, uncheck the DEFAULT / AUTO selection and set the slider for HIGHEST / MAXIMUM PERFORMANCE.

Battery life be damned, I guess, if I need to use my laptop with my own access point. I suppose it’s better that it worked out this way … that I could connect to every other AP I’ve ever tried, except the one I own, rather than only being able to connect to mine, and no one else’s (for instance, in class, at the coffee shop, at a friend’s place, etc.). I’ll probably send 3Com another email, and link them to the Intel page noted above, but if they haven’t fixed it already, it seems somewhat improbable that one email is going to weigh very heavily on their minds. That said, I am surprised that such a conflict has not arisen more frequently. The ThinkPad line seems moderately popular, as does the Intel 2100 mPCI card. I’m not sure why I would be the first person with this particular combination of hardware (and IBM does set the power save level to medium by default (this is where I experienced problems)), nor does it seem like 3Com would neglect to test such a popular card (from my observations, anyhow) with their hardware. I’m sure the reasons behind this will remain a mystery to me, but there something worth pondering. I hope this can help at least someone else out there on THE INTERNET! from some of the frustration that I’ve experienced. Enjoy. G’night.

Edit: [2006-02-06T03:28-0600]
Perhaps my jubilation was premature. Although I successfully used my wireless network for several hours the night this was posted, I was right back where I started, when I tried using my laptop a couple nights ago. I connected up to the AP right after starting up my laptop, signed onto my captive portal, and WiFi was working … then about ten minutes later, there was approximately no connectivity (no pinging the AP, or the device behind it … nothing even appearing in the ARP cache. I’ll keep this updated if I find out anything else useful.

Back again . . . (for the moment, anyhow)

Posted in General on December 16th, 2005

Yes, yes, I know I haven’t posted in quite a long time. I’ve been busy (well, on and off) since my last post, with work, moving, work, getting started in all my classes, doing all the work in my classes, and preparing for finals in my classes (in approximately that order). I ended up taking:

Overall, the schedule was pretty nice (first class was 6:30 PM Monday, 11:15 AM Tuesday and Thursday, 4:40 PM Wednesday, and 12:20 PM Friday), but when everything lined up, the three csci’s were hell. There were definitely weeks during which I only got to sleep about three times… :-/ But I have survived. That said, I have an algorithms final at 8 AM on Monday, operating systems final at 6:30 PM Monday, and program design final at 4 PM Tuesday. Needless to say, I’m not particularly excited about any of them, but I’m probably the best prepared for operating systems (OS), and least prepared for algorithms.

Despite being somewhat confident about OS, I still ended up getting rather screwed over by my lab partner (who I had never met prior to randomly selecting him as a partner for this class), to the degree of directly losing at least 8% of my final grade because of him (and I directly gave him at least 12% of his final grade), so I’m going into the final (worth 30%) with a very low B. I don’t really have anyone to blame but myself in algorithms, for doing rather poorly on the only midterm and a few homework assignments, which also puts me at a low B going into the final (worth 35%). Lastly, I’m doing the best in program design, with much thanks due to my lab partner. The last project and paper were worth 20% combined, and those aren’t graded yet, but I’m guessing I’ll be going into the final with a high B or low A. My nutrition course was an online course consisting of weekly papers and online quizzes, which I elected to take pass/fail (at least, I certainly hope so); I have about 77% going into the final, which is worth 25%. I think I only need to get about 50% on the final to pass, so that’s not weighing too heavily on my mind (now watch me fail :-( . . . ).

Among other things, I also have a new photo Gallery set up, which is part of my entirely new really awesome server (hosted by xlhost), which I have lovingly named ‘vaughn’ as part of my new computer naming scheme of Alias characters (firewall arvin, laptop dixon, server vaughn . . . more to come). Just tonight, actually, I finally got around to migrating my blog over to the new server, but I have to figure out how to get my old gallery URLs to work with Gallery2, so that everything out the on the internet linking to /gallery/ doesn’t break now that things are in /gallery2/. There’s hypothetically a way to make that work using mod_rewrite, but it didn’t work the first time I tried it, so I’ll have to sit down some time and get that figured out, so I can finally move the www.p14nd4.com address over to the new server (rather than just vaughn.p14nd4.com).

Speaking of new computer things (read: `While I’m on a particularly nerdy rant…’), I also got a new laptop. It’s a factory refurbished IBM/Lenovo ThinkPad T41 2373-5U2 (specs) (photos). To make a long story short, I had to give my old tiny Fujitsu Lifebook P-1035 back to my employer, which put me on a frantic ~month-long search for a nice, but relatively inexpensive laptop. I’ve been in love with the T-series of IBM ThinkPads for quite a while, so when I finally found this for $820 on eBay, I was thrilled. Having a fast, nice laptop with an incredible 1400×1050 14.1" LCD is really an unbelievable experience, coming from over two and a half years on the tiny, slow (though admittedly free) Lifebook. It has also been a pleasure to dual boot Ubuntu Linux (my first genuine prolonged experience with Linux as a desktop environment, as compared to the past few years of just using it as a server) and Windows XP Professional with 100% legitimate software (so far, at least). Additionally, since my laptop is no longer owned by alwaysBEthere, I’ve moved from using the screen name aBtL David to omega drh2 while on the laptop (so feel free to watch for me there). A few minor frustrations have come with the laptop, though:

  • Money — or more accurately, the lack thereof, after spending nearly a grand on this small piece of plastic and silicon
  • WiFi — it came with integrated WiFi (from the Centrino chipset, ipw2100), which:
    1. Disconnected every 5-45 seconds from a friend’s AP if I was using a lot of bandwidth
    2. Won’t connect to my 3com OfficeConnect Wireless 11g AP (3CRWE454G72), though it seems like this may be yet another problem with this AP
  • LCD:
    1. As you can see in the last few photos, there’s some weird aura/halo sort of persistent image visible around the edge of the LCD, but only from an angle to the right.
    2. I have difficulty reproducing this, but I’ve also observed occasional image persistence issues, where an image will still be visible briefly after it has disappeared (for instance, the IBM logo on boot-up, or a menu after it disappears).
    3. Lastly, the image will occasionally flicker (cut out) while adjusting the screen angle (closing or opening it more).

    I think I’ve seen a post about the second problem before, but I’ve been unable to track down any information about these issues during my ~15 minutes of googling. If you can come up with any information about any of these things, I’d be greatly appreciative.

 

Now that it’s 7:16 AM, I’m going to try to cram my remaining thoughts into a paragraph or so, rather than dragging this out for another page. As many of you are aware, we recently got about 10" of snow, and I’m rather confident it’s here to stay this time. I love the snow (mostly), and recently remembered that I’m a downhill skier, so I should really try to get out soon. Though, unfortunately skiing may rank below finals, as well as Christmas shopping. I still have to find gifts for my father, brother, and girlfriend (Adrianne) (since she didn’t seem as excited as I thought she’d be at the prospect of a heated bra; damn). In addition to having moved to my $70/month server (up from $0) having purchased the $820 laptop, and paying for school, housing, and food, my funds are particularly low because I’ve been putting in roughly 0 hours at alwaysBEthere. I’ve been toying with the idea of looking for a job on campus, but a combination of factors (leading the pack is ‘laziness’) has prevented me from landing a position just yet. When I’m not working on things for school, I’ve kept my spare time occupied with Adrianne or one of my many TV shows:

  • X-Files — finished all 9 seasons and the movie
  • Arrested Development — Got hooked compliments of Sweeney, and have watched the first two seasons, and the third as it airs
  • Firefly — Another show compliments of Sweeney, though admittedly only 15ish episodes and a movie
  • Battlestar Galactica — Yet another Sweeney drop-off, I’ve now watched the miniseries, first season, and the episodes of season two that have aired so far
  • The Pretender — I watched the first two seasons of this show, and have been on the lookout for seasons three and four
  • Alias — Season five has begun, and I’ve been watching those as they air . . . I hate to say it, but I’m somewhat disappointed by this season
  • Smallville — Season five has begun, and I’ve been watching those too. I’m actually rather pleased with most of this season, though.
  • Scrubs — I re-watched the first four seasons of this show, and anxiously await its return in January
  • Lost — Season two has begun, and I’ve been watching the episodes as they air. This season has not maintained my interest as well as season one, but I’m optimistic.
  • Dark Angel — I just started watching this (two episodes in), and hope to finish its two-season run before Christmas

Lastly, I feel that I should mention that my ex-roommate Brad (2) has finally given in to the pressure/fad/plague of blogging, and started up c0ldfuse.blogspot.com. Read with caution.

 

P.S. Reading is for wimps.

New Blog

Posted in General on August 1st, 2005

I have a new blog (old blog was here, btw), now hosted on my own server. I set it up as a "fun project" while I was at work last week. I know it’s been a while since I updated, but as you’re probably aware, I’m fairly lazy, coupled with the fact that I’m also quite busy between getting up for work around 7 AM M-F, biking ~30 minutes downtown since my work moved to the Warehouse District in Downtown Minneapolis.

[Aside] I’m generally displeased with the move for a number of reasons.

  • My commute changed from a bike ride of about seven minutes to about 30 (this is particularly bad when it’s ~90° F outside).
  • I lost my private office, and now am not only out among annoying people, but my back is about 5′ from my boss’s office door.
  • I lost my free underground parking (there’s no parking by the building, actually; several people are probably paying a couple hundred dollars per month to buy a spot … great plan whoever decided to move here).
  • I lost my 24/7 building access. (While this hasn’t been a problem yet, I’ve definitely made midnight stops at the office to fix things multiple times in the past, so thils will suck.)
  • Three people bring their dogs in to work on a regular basis. One of them urinates, poops, vomits, and has diarrhea on the carpet on a regular basis, and no one seems to scold the dog in any way. On the contrary, they just take the dog for a walk after it messes up the carpet. Apparently they didn’t bother to pay attention to basic conditioning techniques in intro psych :’(. It’s incredibly frustrating (and disgusting). P.S. I’m allergic to dogs.
  • The server room at the new office is tiny, has very little power, no ventillation or lighting, and overally sucks compared to its counterpart at the old office.
  • Someone stole my LCD (flat panel) during the move. Now I’m stuck on a crappy CRT (regular monitor) at 1024×768. It hurts my head.
  • I think the closest Chipotle is slightly farther away than the previous location

On the other hand, there have been a few mild benefits.

  • My mid-day commute T-Th to and from class has been cut from ~35 minutes each way to ~15 minutes.
  • My commute from work to Adrianne’s house is down from ~35 minutes to ~15.

But yeah, overall, not tremendously pleased with the move. [/Aside]

My class ends this coming week, so I have a final on Thursday. Right now I’m on track for a B, with which I would be completely satisfied. For better or for worse, the final is worth 37% of my grade, so if nothing else, there’s some pressure on my performance for it.

Anyway, I really meant to make this a really short entry. And while by my standards this still is unbelievably short, I need to edit and publish a ~6-page article for my web site before I go to bed. I kind of, uh, haven’t started that yet, and wrote this instead of working on that. Getting up at 7 AM sucks, mmkay? Particularly after staying up until ~2 AM on a regular basis. Oh, I get to move into Riverbend (2) in two weeks, which is pretty cool. It’s in the middle of campus, has a kitchen, my own private bedroom, air conditioning, etc. It should be pretty alright.

Bah, I’m getting more distracted. Make sure to check out my photos from my trip to Alaska, if you haven’t done so already. I’ll see y’all later.

I’m Baaaack

Posted in General on May 20th, 2005

Well, I’m back for the summer. More specifically, I’m back living at my parents’ house in Saint Louis Park, MN, and I’m back working full time at alwaysBEthere. I can think of two notable changes since last summer, though: I’m not going out with Amanda any more (see the brief explanation here), and I’m taking a summer class. I’ll elaborate on those later.

Move-Out

I moved back this past Saturday, which actually took considerably longer than I anticipated … but I’m glad that I made a trip of stuff home Friday night. After moving my stuff out and getting back to campus, Brad (my roommate) and I had about 20 minutes to de-loft my bed, try to put the screen back in the window, and clean the entire room (including vacuuming, washing the bathroom, walls, desks, etc.). We didn’t quite finish in the allotted 20 minutes, but our RA was flexible with our check-out, so we finished about 30 (more) minutes later, and I think we did a fairly good job (with a few exceptions). We weren’t able to actually get the screen back in the window how it’s supposed to go (believe me, it’s quite difficult … imagine the scene from Apollo 13 when they need to make the square filter fit in the circular hole … that’s how I felt). We ended up taking pretty much the same approach that they did in the movie: duct tape. Yes. We duct taped our screen into the window opening. And, on the subject of duct tape, Brad couldn’t get the duct tape residue off the door from something he had put up, but I’ll just make him pay, if we get charged for something that stupid (it is his fault).

Eh, anyway, after moving my stuff out, and cleaning the room, and helping Brad move a few things, I was ready to head home … though not having a car, I was in the same position as last year, of biking home. While biking from campus to my parents’ house is not entirely undesirable (I’ve done it on several occasions … only around 13 miles ~ 45 minutes), I didn’t even have my bike on campus, and it had been raining off and on all day. Anyway, my bike was at Adrianne’s new house in downtown Minneapolis, so I headed to the bus stop. Conveniently enough, it started pouring rain about a minute after I headed out, but I love the rain, so that wasn’t particularly bad, either. After bussing downtown, and walking to Adrianne’s house, I caught her just as she was making a trip from the U-Haul to the house, and consequently ended up getting to A. meet her parents, and B. help move all her stuff from the U-Haul to the house, then from the dorm the U-Haul, and then again from the U-Haul to the house. It was tasty. Oh, and then I didn’t even end up biking home–her parents dropped me and my bike off at my house on their way down to Ikea. I promptly collapsed on my basement couch and proceeded to watch TV for about four hours :-).

Jumping back to the past semester…

So, basically I haven’t written anything on here for a semester. (Sorry. I know you’re all devastated.) I’m quite confident this was my most difficult semester yet. Between one particularly crappy computer science course (Csci2031 - Introduction to Numerical Computing), two crappy computer science professors (<thick russian accent>Eugene Schragowitz</accent> was one, a senile eastern European man who hasn’t taught the course since about 1970, and was actually an electrical engineering guy, not computer science, and Victoria Interrante, a quiet middle-aged lady who can’t teach this stuff in a classroom, but admittedly made the class markedly easier than it was rumored to have been in past semesters), and the crappiest theater TA in all history (ah, Barrett, what a crazy bastard), it was … bad. Wednesdays became my night of no sleep, due to ~8-hour-long csci2031 assignments (the class was really math, just listed as csci) followed by weekly papers in my introductory theater course. Mind you, none of the other sections had these papers … only Barrett (my section’s TA) felt inclined to assign two papers per week, versus roughly one every four weeks for other sections. Despite my complaints about him, though, I did end up pulling my only A this semester in his class (it was a lot of work, though).

I started my other csci course (csci2021) off with >100%, so I was particularly stoked for that class, but kinda bombed the last coding lab, written assignment, and final, so only ended up with a B. I also feel kind of guilty, because the last stuff in the class is some of the stuff that’s probably most applicable to my future potential career (and is the content I learned the least well).

Film study was a pretty neutral course, as far as my expectations went. Per my general expectation for classes (and more so non-IT courses), I didn’t read the textbook, and pretty easily BSed the ~four papers and tests for an A- in the class. Some of the films we had to watch were annoying and painful (ex: Birth of a Nation), but at least my future film viewing isn’t scarred by my new knowledge, as they insisted it would be (don’t worry: I knew from the start that I would resist).

Spring Break / Breakup

Also, not related to classes, but still sticking with the sub-heading theme of the past semester, is spring break. While stereotypically a time for insane trips to some ocean beach, excessive drinking and partying, I was perfectly content to stay on campus. Amanda (my girlfriend at the time) was just finishing up a week out west skiing when the beginning of spring break swung around (yes, she’d skipped the week before spring break to go skiing), and was planning on stopping back on campus for a couple days, and then we were going to head to her house for the last half of break. She left a day early, which essentially meant that I couldn’t go with her.

While I didn’t say anything at the time (or to anyone since then), I kind of viewed that as the fatal mistake that was a make or break point in the relationship (for a couple reasons). First, I think we’d been growing apart somewhat before then … and had just finished not having seen each other for a week, and it felt kind of like she was saying "eh, I don’t really feel like spending time with you." Secondly, by then staying on campus for the rest of the week, I spent pretty much every day (well, "day" in the loose sense … 7 PM - 7 AM or so was my day) with Adrianne. It’s not like I decided during spring break, "Oh, hey, I’m gonna get with Adrianne," but it would be a stupid lie to claim that I didn’t get closer to her during that time. I think the week solidified what I really already knew … that Amanda and I weren’t the same as we used to be … we didn’t hang out as much, didn’t have much fun together, hardly talked, etc.

I won’t claim that I handled myself as well as I would’ve liked during the week after spring break. The first time I saw Amanda after she got back from break was late Saturday night; I’d been at a party with Adrianne and a bunch of that friend group, with whom I’d also been spending more time, and randomly had been wearing shorts without pockets, so consequently wasn’t carrying my cell phone. (In hindsight, this would’ve looked pretty horrible from Amanda’s perspective … she couldn’t reach me by phone, after calling half a dozen times, and then ran into me partying with another (intoxicated) chick. That part was just a crappy coincidence, though.) Anyway, back to my not handling myself well… It just sounds like I’m making excuses (in my head, that’s how this sounds, anyway), but I feel that I’ve always been pretty bad/uncomfortable/awkward at mixing different parts of my life … knowing how to act when two generally independent parties are present. So, I pretty much said "Hey" to her, and then continued to devote my attention to the group I was with. She later came back and tried to hang out with us (she didn’t know any of the other people) … she didn’t say anything to me … I didn’t say anything to her … it was … awkward.

The rest of the week didn’t go much better, despite my conscious decision to try to forget about everything else, and give us another chance to improve (note that I silently decided this, rather than talking to Amanda about it … gj David). Sunday evening I finally decided that it wasn’t a good choice to string the relationship out any further, so I talked to Amanda, told her how I felt about what’d been happening in our relationship, and said that I didn’t think our relationship was going to work out any more. I’m too professional/calculating with my speech, so it probably came out about the same as it sounds when management tells someone they’re being "let go" instead of fired, my wording was that &the relationship isn’t going to work out any more" instead of breaking up/dumping. She actually ended up keeping me there while she read a few more pages from some book before responding, which was (again) … awkward … then I left after a while. I felt like crap, and crawled into bed (clothed) and fell asleep for a couple hours, woke up, and posted the news on here … and started talking to Adrianne.

Adrianne

So if you haven’t figured it out by now, this mysterious woman of whom I’ve spoken so much has managed to really captivate me over the past months. Although I met her first semester, through a mutual friend, and she actually stayed at my house for a week during winter break (which did make it into my Blog, if you’ve kept up), we talked and hung out considerably more second semester (particularly, as I mentioned above, during spring break). She’s really amazing in more ways than I could say, but I’ll try anyways. When I first met her, she came off as being a fairly quiet person, but had the most beautiful smile and fun laugh. I tried to make an effort to get her to open up a bit more with fairly limited success, but at least she kept hanging around (though, I’ll never quite be sure if that was for the company or for the big-screen Alias :-)). After I got to know her better, she really opened up, and turned out to be tremendously energetic and talkative. On several occasions we stayed up all night talking about who knows what nonsense, but it was fun. I discovered fairly quickly that Adrianne’s nearly as indecisive as I am, but she pushes me to improve that little by little, which is probably good. When we were at school, at least, we could both generally decide on playing pool late at night easily enough, though. Despite her claims of being horrible, and my rocking, she manages to win enough times to leave me unconvinced. I fear that I’m rambling without focus, though, so I’ll stop that for a while.

Anyway, after hanging out and talking with increasing frequency, it was apparent one night, while we were playing pool (of course), that something was on her mind. After some prodding, she told me that she needed to make a decision by midnight, which was troubling her. She didn’t volunteer any more information about it, so I figured it wasn’t really my place to pry. After she missed her deadline, I suggested that I could try to help her make her decision, which actually turned out to be more than one decision. After some vague discussion, I felt that the situation might have something to do with me, though her unclear description of the quandary and discussion of a second individual confused me considerably (along with the fact that she had some decision to make about me…huh?). By that point, I knew that I had feelings for her, but <gasp> I doubted myself. (Well, I was unsure how she felt about me, which wasn’t helped by the fact that she presumably had to make some decision regarding me. "What kind of big decision does she have to make? Is she deciding whether or not she likes me? Wtf’s up with the second part of the decision? Is she picking between me and someone else? How bizarre…" These were the types of things that went through my head, while she was "deciding.") She finally decided (around 2 AM, I believe, although she wouldn’t announce the decision), and eventually suggested that we go drop the pool equipment off in my room, which we did.

After a brief elevator fiasco (yes, I’m calling it a fiasco), we dropped the stuff off in my room, and were interrupted by my roommate yelling something from his room. She seemed frazzled by his presence, so I suggested we go elsewhere to talk, which ended up being the men’s bathroom down the hall. She dropped a couple hints in the bathroom, but nothing came from that, other than some people throwing things at the window (from outside), prompting us to relocate yet again. I suggested her room (a single), to which she seemed agreeable. After we talked about nothing for a few minutes, I decided to just kiss her, but apparently revealed my musing state through my expression, prompting her question "what’re you thinking about?" After pausing, I decided to simply tell the truth about what I was thinking, and she smiled, and we had our first kiss, in the early morning of April 10th (which I’ve unofficially decided to use as an ‘anniversary’ date).

Anyway, school’s out, but that’s ok, because she’s living in a house near downtown Minneapolis for the year. Last summer pretty much sucked a lot, but I think there’s a good chance that Adrianne being here will help make this summer considerably better :-).

This coming summer…

Unfortunately, I can’t just sit around in my boxers all summer (like I have been doing for the past week). I’m starting my fifth summer at alwaysBEthere (holy crap) as an IT generalist. I can never really predict what I’ll be working on there, but there’s a moderate chance it’s setting up various random servers. Most unfortunately, I’m apparently supposed to go back to the absolutely horrible method of time and project reporting, essentially translating to my documenting every single block of time throughout the workday, all of which must be associated with specific email-assigned projects, and must then be approved by the respective project managers at the end of each day, and approved by my boss every two weeks. I also turned down a considerably easier, less stressful, equally or better paying job because an unemployed friend guilted me into letting him have it (though he’s markedly less qualified for the position than I am) :’(. I feel like such a tool.

In addition to working, I’m also taking a summer class at the university (computer science … csci4011) three days a week, during the middle of the workday. To compound matters, I don’t have a car, which means I bus/bike to/from the class and work. Le sigh.

Lastly, I put in the request for time off for the Alaskan cruise I also was guilted into doing (with my family). I have to take off a week and a half from work and class to sit on a boat without internet, friends, girlfriend, and with my family. On top of that, I really want to make my fourth annual trip to Wisconsin to visit my friend and business partner there, and attend some of Summerfest, but that will be yet another ~5 days off work (and a week of class). Needless to say, in a summer of about three months, two and a half weeks is a considerable chunk of time to take off. Ugh.

Anyway, I’m sure there’s a tremendous amount that I’ve forgotten to include, and a tremendous amount that I have included, and shouldn’t have, but I’m going to wrap this up regardless. It’s currently 5:04 AM, Friday morning. I started this around 11:30 PM last night, after showering, and haven’t gotten out of my towel yet. (No, that’s not to say that I wrote for 5.5 hours straight, but I have been working on and off for quite a while.) I’m supposed to be up before noon tomorrow (er, today) to buy some shoes, and hopefully find something fun to do in the evening. I definitely have to go in to work on Monday, so I should wrap my lethargy up this weekend, and maybe even try to get on a slightly better sleep/waking schedule, since my work probably wants me in from 8 AM - 6 PM, not the other way around. Hopefully I’ll have a little time this summer to drop a few updates in here, and hopefully they can get back to the somewhat humorous roots from which they originated.

I’ll leave you with this closing exchange that sums up my feelings about the O.C. quite well, I thought:

<jidai> anyone get the OC season finale?
<Rob> EVERYONE DIES OMG
<p14nd4> thank god

:-(

Posted in General on March 27th, 2005

I broke up with Amanda…

Long time no post

Posted in General on January 30th, 2005

Werd.

I know it has been quite some time since you’ve heard from me (in blog format, anyhow), and I’ve been trying to accomplish various things today. The blogging hour (around 3:45 AM) has rolled around, so it’s prime time to do things other than sleep, clearly.

Now that my posts have grown increasingly infrequent, I have more difficulty trying to remember what things I might have done since my last post, so I’m sure you’re going to miss a lot–what a shame. Rather than trying to approach this from some logical, ordered standpoint, I’m just going to jump in, and basically produce a several-paragraph long stream of literary vomit from my fingertips. Don’t be tremendously shocked if you feel disoriented, uncomfortable, or dirty at any point.

I’m now about two weeks into second semester here at the U of MN. I have a new class schedule again. There are a few points of the schedule that are really killing me. I’m actually quite displeased with how early I have to get up on Tuesday and Thursday (around 10:15) for my Intro to Theater course. The class is additionally annoying me through the fact that my TA has already assigned four papers (two due last week, two this week), when my sources informed me that this was to be a very easy course to fulfill one of my few remaining LibEd (liberal arts education) requirements. Additionally, my nighttime schedule this semester is absolutely abysmal in regards to my TV schedule. On Tuesday, I miss Scrubs for German Folklore, and on Wednesday I miss Smallville, Lost, and Alias for my damn Intro to Film Study course. To make matters worse, I have to get up early Thursday, so staying up late to watch the downloaded copies I get results in about four hours of sleep Wednesday night. Bleh.

While I’m in bitch mode, I’ll complain a bit about my Computer Science 2031 class. This is Yet Another&tm; math class disguised as a Computer Science course. So far we’ve gone over advanced taylor series expansions, proofs, and derivations, and other various annoyingly long summations. To make matters worse, the class assigns weekly homework :’(. I’m really starting to hate this university’s CS curriculum. At least we’re getting into a real language this semester (C) in the other CS class, though (sort of). Granted, Java in second semester of freshman year wasn’t horrible, but this could actually be useful. I should really pay attention, or something. (Although, the professor seems to be approximately useless, and already announced that he doesn’t particularly plan to cover much C in class. Hm.)

p14nd4 banner

I probably spent a solid 30-45 minutes tonight (around 2 AM, of course) making this ad banner for my site. It’s now linked in about a 1/20 rotation on www.peda.info, so I’m sure the hits are just about to pour in :P.

Anyway, to jump back a ways, I had my finals for first semester in December. Three out of my four finals were pretty easy, but Physics 2 for Sci/Eng was pretty killer. Despite that, I ended up doing alright: B+ in Physics 1302, Computer Science 2011, and Math 5248, and a B in Statistics 3021. I got pretty horribly raped on homework on the last three of these courses, and well on the tests (almost aced my two tests in Statistics), but they kinda balanced out. I moved back home for break on the Wednesday night before Christmas (we’re forced to move out of the res halls for break), and ended up working until about 3 AM that night already, only to be back in the office by 8 AM the next morning. Christmas went fairly well though. We celebrated with my mother’s extended family at her sister’s house, which is a bit of a change from the past ~18 years when it has been held at my family’s house. Regardless, it went well, and I think everyone had a good time. My immediate family exchanged gifts and had brunch at our house the next morning, followed by a relaxed, lethargy-filled day in pajamas. I think we had a dinner with my Father’s extended family a day or two later, although he was too sick to attend, ironically (and unfortunately).

Then, Monday, my three weeks of personal hell began around 7 AM. When I was at school, I got up around 11:30 AM; now that I was on "break," I had to get up at 7, and then work ~10-14 hours every day, Monday through Friday. All told, I think I ended up working about 175 hours over break. I two partial salvations during the period: Adrianne (a friend from school) stayed at my house for a week (S-Sa), and Amanda (girlfriend) came to the cities for a weekend. It was really great to have Adrianne around for a week, because she actually gave me something enjoyable to do after work (foosball, ping pong, scrabble, alias, just hangin’ out, etc.). To make herself just that much more fantastic, she ended up picking out/up three pairs of pants from Banana Republic and two button-down shirts from Gap for me, with her employee discount applied on top of sale prices, so I got it all for $80 (and I didn’t even have to go shopping!). Unfortunately for Amanda’s stay, she A. came with her parents, because she B. had a ski race Saturday and Sunday. We still had a good time, though.

In other good news, I ended up talking to Betsy (my ex-girlfriend from 12th grade and the following summer) rather extensively over break (probably more in one night than we had spoken in the preceding 14 months), and hung out with her (and other people–not alone, heh) one night. I wouldn’t go so far to say that we’re "chummy," but we’ve spoken since then, too, much more casually and easily than before. In one of these more recent conversations, though, I had the unfortunate distinction of being one of the early people she told that she broke up with her boyfriend she met first semester. While I am truly sad for her, that it happened, she seemed to be dealing with it fairly well, and I was bittersweetly surprised that she thought of me, to talk to about it.

I found out tonight that one of my Linux servers at work got semi-hacked by some worm/script going around. That was a pretty crappy realization, but I think I’ve got the situation taken care of, and no significant damage was done, that I can tell.

Brad (my roommate) broke his hand snowboarding about a week ago. He ended up going home to Rochester, MN to get a screw put in the bone to help it heal, and now takes Percocet. His main motivation for getting off it, though, is to resume habits of excessive drinking, which is ill advised in combination with the drug. Good for him…or something.

I think I have an "in" to the sweet residential apartment I’m hoping to get into for next year. A guy I know, who lives there now, is potentially ditching his current roommate, and is probably willing to request me as a roommate for next year. With the way that the U of MN does their housing sign-up, he’ll get first round priority for his current room, or at worst second round priority for a different room in the same building, and then by requesting me as a roommate specifically, gives me some added priority when my third round for residents having lived on campus for more than one year comes around. I think it’s only about $400 more, per semester, than my current room, and I think I’ll cut my meal plan down a fair amount, which might save a little money.

Speaking of money, I have about $30 left to my name right now (sound familiar from my last post?), and I’ve overdrawn my checking (check card) account twice in the past week or so. Fortunately, though, I think I’ll be getting a paycheck fairly soon, from the work I did over winter break. In addition to that, I hope to get all my W2 tax forms around the same time, so I can file my taxes as soon as possible. I think this will be my third year of filing my own taxes. Ever since my first year, I’ve been fairly excited to file taxes, because too much money gets withheld from my paychecks, which translates to a sizable tax refund (although, that’s probably at least a month away from reaching me).

Anyhow, I should probably get to bed about now. I keep meaning to be productive, but I have tremendous difficulty actually doing so. Maybe tomorrow will be better (doubtful, though).

Good night.

This entry sucks. I’m such a woman :’(

Posted in General on November 7th, 2004

A lot has happened since my last post (although, Ninjas are still awesome). I moved back to the University of Minnesota campus (I have a totally rockin’ dorm room), and am taking four classes (they suck, but my class schedule rocks). That means I’m pretty much not working any more, which is good and bad. Hooray for getting out of that office, but lack of consistent income sucks quite a bit, particularly considering my financial aid went down, and I had $67.73 left in my savings account after paying for first semester. I have a birthday (someone else’s) and Christmas coming up, and past-due cable bills, not to mention another semester of school. Donations are welcome.

Also, I’ve now been with my girlfriend, Amanda, for over a year, and that’s going pretty well, so I guess that’s good. It’s her birthday in a month from yesterday (as alluded to above), and I haven’t gotten anything yet, so hopefully that works out. I’m open to suggestions. We kind of talked about it, though, and I might not be obligated to buy her anything big for her birthday, since Christmas is right after that (that’s kind of what happened last year). I’d normally consider jewelry, but she’s not a big fan, so there goes my main idea =P. Even still, I can’t help but feel guilty some times for what I have now, and who got hurt in the process, which isn’t helped by the fact that I still can’t manage to talk to her. Anyhow…

I hung out with a good friend from high school tonight for a while, which was the first time I’d done so in many months. I also managed to piss off my girlfriend in the process, by saying that I just wanted to hang out with him (that is, didn’t want her to come along), since I hadn’t seen him in so long, and such. Over the course of one our conversations, it occurred to me that I don’t even really talk to people from my high school that often any more, despite having spent every weekday of many school-years with them a couple years ago… It’s not that I’m necessarily dissatisfied with people I’ve since met at college, but it sucks to realize those friendships are kinda gone. Bah; anyhow. We ate dinner at his home, with his family, which is always an interesting experience, to say the least. His father, in particular, is quite the character, so plenty of interesting stories always come up, and his two younger brothers always eagerly contribute interesting side notes (such as imitation snoring sounds, as it was tonight). I got to fix a couple things on their computer, for old time’s sake, interspersed and followed by the traditional rounds of ping pong. I had a good time.

Other than that, I’ve just been hanging around, mostly. I got another guy hooked on the TV show Alias, which has involved re-watching the entire 66-episode (42 minutes per episode) series again. I’ve also picked up watching Lost (ABC), mainly because it’s written or produced by the creator of Alias, and managed to get at least three people hooked on that, too. I think one of my hobbies might be getting people hooked on TV shows that I like (which currently consist of Alias, Smallville, Lost, and Scrubs). Having all the episodes on my computer, connected to a projector, showing on about a 5′ screen, might help my cause a bit, but I’d like to think they’re just good shows.

In other news, I should have a 20 Gig iPod coming within a month or so, and unrelatedly, you should join The FaceBook and Facebook me. It’s nifty. I’m not particularly pleased that Bush won the election, and I don’t think it’s impossible that the results were not completely accurate, but that’s about how much complaint I’ll put into the subject currently. I did my part, and successfully won my state for Kerry ;).

I’m going to head to bed shortly, though. I’ve got some computer science and physics homework to hit tomorrow night, and probably some more Alias to watch. I hope you’ve enjoyed the entry, after the dry spell for a while. G’night.

Ninjas

Posted in General on August 17th, 2004

Ninjas are awesome.